Sing Like You Think No One's Listening
by Boyfrom0z
Summary: Although they always fight, Sora and Nao are secretly in love. The problem: they can't tell each other. As Sora tries to remember his past and Nao plans something wicked, they both suffer from their hidden love. Sora/Nao, yaoi, song fic
1. Chapter 1

**Let's see...**

**This is first shot at a real song fic, so let me know if you think it works.**

**I (sadly) own nothing. Neither the song (Existentialism on Prom Night) nor the anime/characters are mine.**

**This takes place during the show before pasts are uncovered, but there a few are un-detailed spoilers. There's also boy/boy stuff, but if you don't like that then why are you readi****ng ****Sukisho stories?**

"_Sing like you think no one's listening"_

Sora wanted nothing more than a soundproof room he could lock himself in and scream and no one would hear him. He was so sick of everything. He was sick of Yoru and Ran. He was sick of Matsuri and his stupid "Do-It-All Team." He was sick of his classes and homework. He was sick of watching Nanami andShinichirou's seemingly perfect relationship. He was sick of hearing Gaku constantly carrying on about Nagase. He was sick of Fujimori being such a jerk to him, of Fujimori never wanting to talk to him, of Fujimori getting out of doing stuff for Matsuri, of everything about his pink-haired, moronic, infuriating, beautiful roommate. More than anything though, he was sick of himself and his stupid, stupid feelings for Fujimori.

There was a knock on the door of his room.

"Yeah," Sora called dully.

"You dressed, Hashiba?" Nao asked through the door.

"Does it matter?" Sora replied without energy or caring. "It's not like you haven't seen me naked."

It was true. Yoru and Ran, their alternate personalities who just happened to be lovers, had done a lot more than just be naked together.

"I'll take that as a "yes"," Fujimori said coldly as he pushed the door open. "You don't have to bring that up like I wanted it or something. It was Yoru and Ran."

Sora carefully hid the fact that Nao's words sliced his heart apart and spoke coolly.

"Whatever."

"Well, if you're done with your work, I'd like to go to bed." Nao was clearly extremely pissed off about something, but Sora could not think of what he might have done to annoy his roommate so much.

"It's _Friday_, Fujimori," said the blue-haired boy, rolling his eyes. "I can be done whenever I want to be done."

"Well, do you want to be done now?" he asked icily.

"If it makes you happy," muttered Sora without thinking.

"Pardon?"

"Well obviously you're hacked off about something and if sleeping will brighten your mood I'm all for it. I have to live with you after all," Sora said trying not to speak too quickly and silently thanking whatever gods might be out there that he'd thought of a good, cold cover-up for his blunder.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Sora tried not to watch as Nao undressed and changed into his pajamas, but his eyes kept straying across the room even as he changed his own clothes.

Nao turned off the lights and the two boys climbed into their respective beds.

They lay in the dark for a few minutes before Sora spoke.

"Fujimori?" he asked cautiously.

"What, Hashiba?" came the knife-sharp reply.

"What are you so mad about?"

"Is it any of your business?" Nao snapped back.

"It is ff I'm the one who made you mad," said Sora trying (and failing) to sooth his roommate.

"You know, I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave me alone!" Nao exploded, sitting up in bed to glare across the room at the dark place were Sora lay.

"Fujimori, I-!"

"I get quite enough of you as Ran, thank you very much. I don't need any more." With that Nao threw himself down onto his pillow and rolled over to face the wall.

Sora sighed and also turned to the wall. He wished Fujimori would look at him another way.

On his own bed, Nao bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears. He shouldn't take out his furry on Sora. He was going to hurt him enough as it was.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sora woke up, he wanted to scream even more that when he'd gone to sleep. However, this pent-up scream was not one of furry and frustration, but one of pure anguish. As his vision cleared, he saw Fujimori on the bed beneath him, shirtless and sweaty, his eyes full of passion. He was still Ran. If Sora could have remembered what Yoru had just been doing, he would have carried on just to see those pink eyes look at him that way, even if it was Ran behind them and not Fujimori. What he wouldn't give to have Fujimori look at him the way Ran looked at Yoru...

"_You would kill for this, just a little bit"_

And then Ran was gone and Fujimori was struggling to throw Sora off. Part of the blue-haired boy wanted to pin him down and kiss and hold him and show him how much he cared and never let go. But, for Fujimori's sake, Sora jumped away, putting up a huge show of not wanting him there. Nao hurried back to his bed, throwing Sora a disgusted look over his shoulder. After a moment, Sora called out to him softly through the darkness.

"This isn't my fault you know," he said quietly, his head bowed. "It's not like I'm asking Yoru to do this."

"That doesn't make it any better." Nao glared at Sora for a long moment. "I'm going to take a shower," he said. "I feel disguising." With that he grabbed a towel and stalked out of the room.

Sora fell back against his pillow and breathed in Fujimori's smell, which still lingered there mixed with sweat and Sora's own sent. Could he ever get Fujimori to look at him as anything other than Yoru's other side? That was all he seemed to see, the person that dominated Yoru's body was when Yoru wasn't in control. Sora could see it in Nao's eyes when he looked at him, the shudder of revulsion behind his gaze as vague memories of what Yoru and Ran had done flashed into his mind along with much clearer memories of where they were when they'd woken and what they were, or more to the point _weren't_, wearing. He sometimes wondered what their relationship had been like in the time he couldn't remember and what it would be like now if they'd always been together and Sora hadn't forgotten. Or what it would be like without Yoru and Ran.

By the time Nao returned from the bathroom, Sora was finally asleep. Nao crossed to his roommate's bed instead of his own. He bent down and gently brushed his fingers across Sora's cheek, forcing himself to think of how much Ran wanted Yoru and trying to convince himself that his feelings for Sora were really Ran's for Yoru. He knew it was lie.

"_You would kill for this, just a little bit."_

Nao sighed and walked quietly over to own bed and climbed in. Sora would never want him. He was horrible to his former best friend and he was going to do much worse. It would never happen, could never happen. Still, that didn't stop him from wanting it.

**Hope you're liking it so far! I'd really appreciated it if you took the time to review and tell what you think. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

"_When the sun came up we were sleeping in, sunk inside our blankets, sprawled across the bed."_

Saturday morning found both Sora and Nao sleeping in. Sora was taking up his entire bed, blankets a mess, pink elephant under one arm, and shirt, which Yoru had discarded, still on the floor in a sad heap. Nao, on the other hand, was curled in a tight ball deep under the covers by the wall as if his unconscious mind wanted to protect his body from possible attack.

Unbeknownst to the other, each boy was dreaming of his roommate.

"_And we were dreaming."_

In his dream, Sora was somewhere that was in semidarkness, but not threatening. He was stretched out on his back staring at nothing, just enjoying _being._ And, of course, enjoying the feeling of having Nao curled against his side. Nothing else mattered expect being there with him. Sora did not often have good dreams, but he would at least remember this one when he awoke.

In his dream, Nao was trapped in a small, dark room. He kept throwing himself against the walls and screaming, "Kuu-chan! Kuu-chan!" He could barely hear Sora's voice calling back, "Nao-kun! Nao-kun!" He could feel the walls shaking as Sora tried to break them down and set him free, but they would not give. Everything was growing smaller and darker and Sora's voice was growing fainter and fainter. Then there was another voice. "Let go." Nao had bad dreams so often that to him "dream" meant "nightmare" and he would remember this one just like the rest.

"Sleep well?" Nao's voice infiltrated Sora's mind and the dream began to dissolve.

Sora swore inwardly. It was just starting to get good.

"I _was_," he said sourly as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "You?"

"Same as always," he replied with a shrug.

"So not very well?" Sora did not bother to hide the concern in his voice; he often heard Nao tossing and moaning in his sleep.

Nao made an indistinct noise and headed off for breakfast.

"Fujimori?" Sora called suddenly.

"What?" he asked, turning to glare at his roommate.

Sora opened his mouth to say something about Fujimori mumbling "Kuu-chan" in his sleep, but thought better of.

"Maybe you should go see Nanami for some sleeping meds," he muttered.

"Hey, if I can drug out Ran, that's not a bad idea." He smiled at Sora, who felt himself turning as pink as Nao's hair. He grabbed his jacket and left the dorm.

Sora sat on his bed staring blankly after his roommate. Considering everything that had happened last night (Nao's seemingly bad dream on top of Yoru and Ran's typical escapades), Sora could not figure out why he was so cheerful all of a sudden. He sighed and shook his head so that his messy blue spikes flopped about his head, then he too got up and headed for the bathroom, grabbing a towel off his dresser as he passed it.


	4. Chapter 4

Sora did not see Nao again until dinner. Having found the substance in the cafeteria line that looked most like food, Sora scanned the room for someone he could stand sitting with without wanting to kill himself or his dinning mate. Fujimori was the only person who even came close to meeting the requirement so he joined his roommate, sitting down across from him.

"Where's Matsuri?" Sora asked casually. "He hasn't asked me to do anything weird all day." This was rather exciting for Sora who was starting to secretly dread weekends because they meant whole days Matsuri could force him into doing this for the "Do-It-All Team."

"Didn't you hear?" asked Nao with exciemtn in his voice as he looked up at Sora.

"Apparently not. What happened?"

"He fell in the pool."

"What?"

"He was in there by the pool, god only knows why, and he slipped and fell in. He nearly drowned!" Nao was leaning across the table to talk to Sora, his eyes full of the story.

"Is he gunna be Okay?" As annoying as Matsuri was, he was one of Sora's few friends and he was naturally worried.

"Yeah, he's fine now."

"So did someone find him?"

"Yeah. This is so great." Nao laughed and leaned even farther across the small space that separated them, dropping his voice and glancing around. "I don't know if this is common knowledge, but I asked Nanami and he told me. It was Nagase."

"Nagase!" gasped Sora. "What on _earth_ was _he_ doing there?"

"I don't know, but, considering who was with him, I don't think I want to." Nao shuddered even though he was still smirking.

"Who was with him?" Sora asked, although he was sure he knew the answer.

"Gaku," said Nao, confirming Sora's suspicions.

"Thought so." Sora couldn't help smirking too. "Yeah, you probably _don't_ want to know what they were doing, or were going to do, there." _But you've probably done it,_ he added mentally, _considering all the stuff Yoru and Ran get up to at night._

They shared another smirk, though this one had a slightly embarrassed hint as if Sunao had read Sora's mind. They ate in silence for a few minutes.

"Hashiba?" Nao said quietly.

"Yeah?" Sora asked, glancing up.

"There's something I should tell you." The pink-haired boy studied his tray of half-eaten food with great intensity.

"What?" asked Sora, slowly setting down his chopsticks.

Nao licked his lips.

Sora tried not to stare at Nao's perfect lips.

"I'm sorry about last night," he muttered at last as if this was not the thing he'd truly wanted to say. "I was pretty awful to you."

"It's Okay," said Sora with a shrug. "Everybody has bad days."

"I just don't think it's safe," he said in a sudden rush to his tray.

"You don't think what's safe?" the blue-haired boy asked.

"I mean, I think it's better if there's some distance between us."

Sora felt as his he'd just been kicked in the chest as every last scrap of hope that Fujimori just might be about say the thing he so wanted to hear was expelled from his body.

"Fujimori," he whispered sadly. He stared into sad, pink eyes with his sad, blue ones. "I don't understand." There was nothing else in the room, in the world, besides Nao and himself and the words that were forcing them apart.

"_There are moments when, when I know it and the world revolves around us."_

"I'm sorry, Hashiba," said Nao as grabbed his tray and he stood up.

"Fujimori, don't!" Sora cried suddenly, surprising himself along with Sunao.

Nao stopped and looked down at the devastated boy.

"It's not even possible," Sora said desperately. "For us to be... distant, I mean. You know it's not." Both boys could feel their other sides pulling at their consciousnesses. Yoru and Ran would not let them be apart.

"They are not us," Nao said finally with an odd stiffness in his voice.

"Nao, please!" begged Sora. "Please."

"_Sing like you think no one's listening."_

"I have to."

"Why?" There were tears in Sora's blue eyes as he looked at Nao.

"It's for your own good, Hashiba."

"If it's for my own good, then why is this hurting me so much?" demanded Sora, also standing so that he faced Nao across the table.

"You'll understand. You'll understand all too soon." He turned and started to walk away.

A deeper voice called after him.

"It's only because of me that you're even alive, Sunao."

Nao slowly turned, dreading what he would see.

"You have nothing to do with this," he said coldly.

"I protect him," said Yoru, "and I protected you as well. Now you're hurting him, so I have everything to with this."

"This is _not_ that place," Nao hissed trying to not glance around for fear of the eyes that might meet his.

"I don't care," said Yoru coolly as he walked around the table to where Nao stood rooted to the spot. "I know what you're planning; Ran told me everything. I will _never_ understand what Sora could see in a disgusting, traitorous creature like you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nao snapped, trying to keep his voice from shaking too badly.

Yoru suddenly snatched the tray from Nao's hands and threw it to the floor.

"It's revolting and shameful that Ran has to live with the likes of you!" he shouted.

"Don't!" snarled Nao through clenched teeth.

Yoru smiled and started to walk past Nao, pausing only to whisper in his ear.

"Give me one good reason not to tell Sora your plan."

Nao opened his mouth to speak, but Yoru was already walking away.

"Because it will kill him," Nao whispered even though he knew Yoru was too far away to hear him. It didn't matter; Yoru knew all too well why he shouldn't tell Sora. Nao knew he wouldn't do it.

Sora opened his eyes and glanced around him. Nao was behind him, his tray on the floor, his food everywhere. The cafeteria was filled with staring students, including Matsuri who was standing frozen in the doorway, his camera half raised. The whole school had just seen Yoru! What had it looked like to them? What had Yoru said to Fujimori? Sora wanted to scream, to cry, to fall to his knee, to run and pull Nao into his arms. He felt tears rising in his eyes as his gaze fell on Fujimori once more. For one, long moment they looked at each other until Sora broke the connection and fled the room, whipping his eyes as he ran. He shoved past Matsuri and banged through the doors, leaving a horrible silence behind him as the eyes of the whole school swiveled back to Nao. He knelt down, cleaned up the mess from his tray as best he could, quietly took it up to the window, and slowly walked away. Maybe _he_ should jump out of a window.

**Well, that was a bit dramatic... Let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: I changed it in the last chapter so they were at dinner, not lunch, so it's evening now. Sorry about that. Enjoy!**

Nao expected his feet to lead him back to his dorm room (or possibly to the pool so he could drown himself), but they did not. He found himself looking up the final flight of stairs that would place him by the window Sora had fallen from. He could see a figure silhouetted against the glass. He knew it was Sora.

Sora didn't turn as he heard feet climbing the steps behind him. He didn't even wonder who it was. He didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. Nothing mattered.

"Sora?" Nao asked gently when he'd climbed the final step.

"What?" Sora asked dully.

"I'm sorry, Sora. I really am."

"It doesn't matter."

"Did Yoru tell you?" he asked tentatively.

"Tell me what?" asked Sora, his voice still emotionless.

"Nothing," Nao muttered.

They stood in silence for a moment.

"There's something I want to give you," said Nao quietly.

"What?"

"If I come give it to you, do you promise you won't," he hesitated, "do anything stupid?"

"Like what?"

"Like jumping out of the window." _Please don't let me be giving him ideas_, Nao prayed to whatever might be listening.

"Yes."

Nao gave an inward sigh of relief and walked slowly over to Sora. He stood directly behind the apathetic boy for a moment before tapping him gently on the shoulder.

Sora turned.

Nao took a half step closer. They were only a few inches apart. Nao stretched up on his toes, his eyes sliding partway closed, and ever so gently and cautiously he kissed Sora on the lips. He held this kiss for a moment and then slowly pulled away and regained his original height.

"_Sing me something soft, sad, and delicate or loud and out of key. Sing me anything."_

"Nao," Sora whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"Did you mean that?" asked Sora, raising his hand to touch a few fingers to his lips.

"Yes."

Sora lower his fingers slightly, hesitated for a moment, and extended his hand slowly, finally landing it on Nao's cheek.

"Sora?"

"I'm sorry about earlier too. I know part of it was Yoru, but still..." His voice trailed off.

"It's fine," said Nao, a slight smile on his lips. He stood perfectly still, drinking in the feeling of Sora's hand on his face.

"Nao-kun?" whispered Sora.

"Yes?" The sound of his name in Sora's voice, the way his lips formed the syllables...

"I love you."

"_Sing like you think no one's listening."_

"I love you, Sora."

Sora tilted Nao's face up and kissed him. Their lips touched gently and their eyes closed. Sora felt Nao's arms slide around his neck and he wrapped his free arm around the smaller boy's waist. They stayed together for a long moment. Nao broke the kiss and looked into Sora's blue eyes.

"There's something I need to tell you," he said.


	6. Chapter 6

Nao dropped an arm from Sora's neck to take his hand. He pulled his friend-turned-lover to the floor where they sat facing the large window, but looking at each other.

"I need to tell you about the past, our past" he bit his lip for a moment, "and the future, what might happen." He took a deep breath. "What I meant to happen, but I don't want that anymore. I don't ever want to hurt you, Sora!" He stared as his newfound lover with desperation in his eyes.

"_You would kill for this, just a little bit, just a little bit, you would, you would..."_

"Tell me everything, Nao-kun," Sora whispered, softly tracing the lines on the palm of Sunao's hand.

"I was going to do the most horrible thing," He told Sora with eyes full of pain.

"I don't care. I love you."

And Nao began to tell him. He told him their past, why they had Yoru and Ran, what had happened the night Sora had lost his memory – everything. Then he told him what he'd planned on doing, how he'd been about to betray Sora.

"_We're glad for what we've got, done with what we've lost. Our lives laid out right in front of us."_

"I'm so sorry," he finished, barely able to speak as he was so close to tears.

"It's Okay, it's Okay," Sora whispered as he pulled Nao to his chest and let him sob into his shoulder.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he chocked, looking up at Sora through a film of tears.

"You were forgive before I even knew what you'd done," Sora told him.

"Sora."

"Shhh..." Sora said soothingly, stroking Nao's hair.

The smaller boy buried his face in Sora's neck and Sora laid his head against the pink hair, breathing in his amazing smell. They stayed this way for what might have been hours, arms around each other, feeling each other's warm breath and soft touch. It was heaven.

Eventually, Sora heard and felt Nao's breathing slow. He had fallen asleep. Sora gently disentangled himself from the other boy, who mumbled in his sleep. Sora carefully lifted the limp body into his arms and began to carry him slowly back to their room.

Nao stirred as Sora stepped into the cool, night breeze.

"It's Okay," he whispered. "Go back to sleep."

Nao made an indistinct noise and fell back to sleep.

Sora walked across the dark, silent campus, up the stairs to their hall, and down the corridor to their room. He laid Nao in his bed, carefully took off his shoes, and pulled the covers over his sleeping form. The pink-haired boy curled into the warmth of the blankets. Then Sora changed into his pajamas and was about to get into his own bed when he looked over at Nao who somehow looked very lonely in his bed by himself. He sighed to himself, wondering how the boy did what he did to his heart. He crossed the room and climbed into bed beside him, curving his body to Nao's back.

"Yoru?" he muttered sleepily.

"No, it's just me."

"Good," Nao mumbled before drifting off again.

Sora wrapped his arms around Nao's soft, warm body and, happier than he'd ever been, feel asleep himself.

"_Sing me anything."_

**-end-**


End file.
